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The Text-Pal

August 19th, 2007

A couple of weeks ago, I aquired a pen pal of sorts. Some random guy started texting personal messages to me. They were clearly meant for someone else, but whatever, I like it when random things happen.

He started off slow; the first message arrived on a Friday evening, with just two words. “Trust me?” After an hour and a half without a response, he followed up with, ” :( “, followed shortly by, “Tel lynn im sory 4 what ever and thanks and jaimie ur wrong u kant stop u kant stop…”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I didn’t.

Our one sided relationship grew from there. The next day he sent, “Happy b day,” and “<miss> (love) badly~..”.

Finally, on Sunday, I decided to start responding. He sent me, “I just got off.” I replied with, “Need u 2 do me big favor meet me at quiktrip at 9.” Does he live near a Quick-Trip? Does it matter? Things fell apart pretty quickly after that. He called, got my voicemail, and pretty quickly stopped texting me.

However, if that were the end of things, you wouldn’t be reading about it.

The NEXT weekend, the dude calls me after the Reel Big Fish concert, while I’m playing ‘Bar Talk’ at the Pin Up Bowl with Rhiannon and Matt. He doesn’t leave a message, so I call back after 15 minutes, quite drunk. The conversation goes something like this:

Random Guy: Who is this?

Me: This is the guy you keep accidentally texting.

RG: Uh?

M: You know. You texted me happy birthday, and told me you loved me.

RG: I love you…?

M: Aw, that warms my cockles. And sub-cockles.

RG: Your cock?

M: No. CockLES. Look. I really can’t be teaching you biology over the phone. Keep it real.
And that’s the end of my lame story. Mostly. I’ve been scrawling, “For a good time, text 314-his-nmbr” in bar bathrooms.

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